Monday, July 31, 2006

£18.6million for Carrick

Carrick is certainly a good player, but is he worth £18.6million ?

I would have thought that Man. Utd (similar to Newcastle) would have been focusing their efforts on signing a new striker instead of bolstering their midfield.

Wembley set to miss September completion deadline

Looks like they're going to miss another deadline ... is it ever going to get completed ? The whole process has been a complete farce.

Partners blamed for England's World Cup woe

So that's why we didn't win the World Cup ... silly me, I thought it was because we didn't play very well.

England flop Lampard blasts Sven blunder

Considering the fact that he had so many shots in the World Cup without scoring, including the penalty shootout, I'm surprised that he's criticizing anyone.

Premiership countdown

A calendar to count down to the big day

Friday, July 28, 2006

How happy are you ?


Haircut ... haircut ...


Mrs. Beckham

"A radio journalist has been revealed as the saviour who came to the aid of a cashless Victoria Beckham when she wanted to buy some chips at half-time during an England World Cup match last month."

Considering how thin she is, I would think she was only buying one or two chips anyway, so it wouldn't cost him too much.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE

SYMPTOM/ CAUSE/ CORRECTIVE ACTION

Feet cold and wet
Glass Being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling

Feet warm and wet
Improper Bladder Control
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training

Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself leashed to bar

Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes
You have fallen forward
See above

Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet
a. Mouth not open
b. Glass applied to wrong part of face
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror

Floor Blurred
You are looking through bottom of empty glass
Get someone to buy you another beer

Floor moving
You are being carried out
Find out if you are being taken to another bar

Room seems unusually dark
Bar has closed
Confirm home address with bartender. If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run

Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside

Everyone looks up to you and smiles
You are dancing on the table
Fall on someone cushy-looking

Beer is crystal-clearIt's water!
Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him

People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup
You're in the ladies' roomDo not use urinal!
Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional)

Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
You have been in a fight
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them

Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in
You've wandered into the wrong party
See if they have free beer

Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk
You're in jail

Your singing sounds distorted
The beer is too weak
Have more beer until your voice improves

Don't remember the words to the song
Beer is just right
Play air guitar

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Nothing to do with football

But funny.

I don't think I'll be shaving anytime soon though.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Fake alibi

I saw this in New Scientist, and thought it was funny, especially the part about the beer-stained t-shirt ...

"Pretend World Cup trip
JUST how World Cup obsessed are your friends and workmates? What would it be worth to prove to them that, yes, you were there when your national team scored that crucial goal?
Feedback has just received an email from www.fakealibi.com plugging an offer to provide fake documentation of a World Cup trip. For just £99.99 you get ticket stubs, flight and coach details, a "virtual phone number" to field calls and a beer-stained shirt.
Naive as we are, our first thought on receiving this was that fakealibi.com had reversed the normal flow of alibi. That, we assumed, would be to prove to your boss, who has unaccountably failed to understand the life-or-death nature of this sporting fixture, that you were, in fact, dutifully attending an ISO 9000 Quality Assurance Review Day in Swindon, UK - not painting your face in Dortmund, Germany.
But then we lifted our eyes from the bare text and noticed the slightly disturbing signature graphic on the site. It depicts a blonde person, oscillating sinusoidally on what appears to be a hotel bed. That, the site seems to imply, could be the reason why a person might want to pretend they were at the World Cup."

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Zidane game


Odds against England

An interesting article here from the BBC site explaining England's lack of success in big tournaments.

Monday, July 17, 2006

World Cup worst XI

A pretty solid World Cup worst XI - I wouldn't argue with many of the choices, though to be fair, Owen only played half the tournament.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Italian scandal

I still think that the Italian teams will appeal, and they won't end up being relegated. It's just my gut-feel, but there's too much money involved.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Zidane confrontations

Some strange Zidane confrontations

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Smells fishy ...

A company is selling World Cup air - smells suspicious if you ask me.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Favourite World Cup names

Beenhakker, Kaka, Schweinsteiger, Pimpong, and my personal favourite ... Fred

Saturday, July 08, 2006

George Best

In my humble opinion, the best player ever

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Breaking one leg is unlucky ...

but breaking both is just jinxed.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Shearer sings

The clip was apparently filmed by his daughter. He could score goals, but he sure can't sing.

Bowyer fined 600 quid

Bowyers fine for the Dyer incident must work out to be about 5 minutes wages.

New season

Well, a new Premiership season is just around the corner ... can anyone challenge Chelsea and their millions ? I like the look of Spurs this year, they've made some decent signings and I think they'll be challenging for a top 3 spot.

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