Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Hearts fans have allegedly reported a linesman to the Scottish Football Association and have accused him of challenging them to a fight during a Scottish Premier League match.

Double addiction

Some Premiership players are being treated for a double addiction to gambling and pornography. There is growing evidence that the lifestyle of the modern-day wealthy footballer is unhealthy, unmanageable and out of control. Too much money and insufficient “life skills” to use their free time constructively are being blamed by experts and players.

One well travelled Premiership striker, who has had treatment for porn addiction, said: “When I had my problem a couple of years ago, I was earning £20,000 a week. With so much free time I would get through a lot of money."“With laptops, you can get hooked on anything. It careers out of control. I was like a kid in a sweet shop. Laptops in hotel rooms are a bad thing. You’re in that room for one reason — to relax. If you have an addictive personality, computers don’t allow you to do that.”


Israeli side Maccabi Netanya insist they are serious about signing Real Madrid midfielder David Beckham after making a £5m bid for the ex-England captain.

Is there anyone out there who hasn't been linked with him by now ?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Dad pulls gun on coach over son's playing time

A father pulled a gun on a youth football coach in Philadelphia because his son wasn't getting enough playing time, police said.

Wayne Derkotch, 40, was arguing with the coach Sunday during a game of 6- and 7-year-olds when he drew the weapon, police said. No shots were fired.

Derkotch was charged with aggravated assault and other offenses. He did not immediately return a call to his home Monday.

A referee accused of throwing a punch at a man was also arrested on assault charges, police said.

Older than your team

Sister María Calvo Casares of a convent in Valdemoro near Madrid is one fan who's older than the team they support.

Real Madrid were founded in 1902, making them 104 years old, but Sister Maria is one year older, not that she has many memories of life before Los Blancos: "I've supported Real Madrid since I was a little girl and all I want is for the team to win," she said. "I've prayed for Madrid so many times before important matches but it doesn't always work!" Club president Ramon Calderon presented her with a club scarf and signed football recently to pay homage to her long-lasting support.

Liverpool takeover ?

Liverpool are a takeover target for an American billionaire, who once owned the Harlem Globetrotters basketball team - George Gillett jnr.


Stewart Downing has accused Steve McClaren of making him the scapegoat for England's faltering Euro 2008 qualification campaign.
Downing said: "I was disappointed and annoyed with the way it was done."
"I knew we were going to get criticism because we didn't win, but I thought it was a bit harsh singling two players out - Wayne Rooney and me."

Get married ... or else.

Ivelin Popov has been ordered to get married by boss Ljupko Petrovic at Bulgarian side Litex Lovech in a bid to calm down the 19-year-old striker.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Dyer injury details

Glenn Roeder quotes :

"It was all part of our warm-up - a warm-up most clubs do on a Friday morning because there is no contact.

Players run in between poles and it is all very competitive and because his team was winning Kieron was giving it all he had.

Unfortunately, he caught the top of one of the poles and damaged his eye. He only has a small nick under it but there may a little bit of damage to the eye itself. However, he should be OK in a couple of weeks."

Beckham to Celtic ?

Celtic could make a swashbuckling bid to lure David Beckham – who is out of contract with Real Madrid next summer – to Parkhead during the January transfer window.

Gordon Strachan is aware of the 31-year-old's circumstances – Spanish sources say Beckham would welcome a fresh challenge and that money need not be an obstacle — and if the opportunity arises, the Celtic manager would like nothing better than to follow last year's highprofile acquisition of Roy Keane, Beckham's former team-mate at Old Trafford, with another bold foray into the transfer market.


I think it's safe to say that he's back


Martin O'Neill last night admitted he blew his chances of being England manager because he failed his interview.

FA chiefs spoke to O'Neill last season — before he took over at Aston Villa.

But the Irishman admit-ted: "I obviously did not answer the questions in the fashion they wanted me to.

"I failed the interview. There is really not much more to say about it."

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Dyer sidelined with freak injury

Kieron Dyer will be out of action for at least two weeks after a freak training ground accident ... he took a knock to his left eye.

If any player is jinxed, it's got to be him - I've lost count of the number of times he's come back from injury only to break-down again.

History is made

For the first time in English football history a refereeing error has led to a successful appeal for a match to be replayed.
The case, arising from a fixture last month between Edgware Town and Harefield United in the Spartan South Midlands League, is rapidly becoming the talk of the non-League game, but has wider implications for the professional game.
Harefield were leading 1-0 when they conceded a second-half penalty, which Edgware scored. But the referee, Mark Tweed, disallowed it for infringement by an Edgware player. Under the laws of the game, Tweed should have ordered the kick to be retaken. Instead he awarded a free-kick to Harefield.The match finished 1-0 to Harefield, and Edgware appealed to the SSM League for a replay.
The League asked Tweed to confirm his actions in a report, and, satisfied he had made an error, ruled in Edgware's favour and ordered the replay.


Tony Blair paid tribute to Alan Shearer who donated his testimonial money, worth £1.64 million, to charity.

"The first time we met was when Kevin Keegan was manager and I came down to the dressing room. There was an incredible buzz. This was just after I'd become leader of the Opposition and he said: 'You're not going to put up my taxes are you?'"


Sven-Goran Eriksson has been out of football for nearly four months while still being paid £13,000 a day from the Football Association.

Nice work, if you can get it.


Dennis Wise promised a return to the good old days at Leeds — when they were the most horrible and hated team in the country.


On-loan Middlesbrough defender Jonathan Woodgate fears his England chances have been hit because he named Grease as his favourite film in a recent interview.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Riding the bench again

Becks may be on the bench, but Real have the comfiest bench seats around.


Jonathan Woodgate has hit out at the low standards of coaching he has received throughout his career.

The former Leeds, Newcastle and Real Madrid defender, now on a season-long loan deal at Middlesbrough, said:

"Every coach at our football club has a job and they all do it perfectly.
"But that's not always the case at some clubs, where some coaches just sit around on their backsides all day and then pick up their wages."

He doesn't name anyone, but it's quite an ironic statement considering all of the time he spent sitting on his backside picking up his wages while he was injured.


Sven link to Hammers is a joke, says agent

Yes, the fact that the current manager is on the brink of being fired, and Sven was seen dining with one of the backers of Kia Joorabchian's potential takeover at Upton Park is a complete coincidence.

Steve Nicol

Former Liverpool defender Steve Nicol, who is manager of Major League Soccer side New England Revolution, has confirmed his interest in succeeding Bruce Arena as coach of the United States team.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Keane to wed model

Republic of Ireland striker Robbie Keane has confirmed his engagement to his long-term girlfriend.

Ending months of speculation, the 26-year-old Tottenham Hotspur player officially announced he is going to tie the knot with model Claudine Palmer, from Dublin.

Twins get a red card

Twin sisters Francine and Nicola Gleadall were the half-time entertainment in Sheffield Wednesday's match with Barnsley last week, singing Cum On Feel The Noize, but when the away fans jeered them, they started swearing and making obscene gestures. Both received £80 fixed penalties for public order offences.

A joint statement from Sheffield Wednesday and South Yorkshire Police said: "We operate a policy of enforcement against threatening behaviour in the ground to prevent escalation into more serious offending."

Deco for Lampard ?

Rumours of a possible trade between Barcelona and Chelsea next summer ... Lampard is said to be tempted by the move after realising that £90,000 a week is still £40,000 less than Michael Ballack is getting.

Beckham can go for £5m

Real Madrid are prepared to take a £20m loss on the player when the transfer window opens rather than lose him for nothing next summer.

The Hoff

Fulham's Moritz Volz has revealed he had the name of his hero David Hasselhoff written on his boots to inspire him - and promptly scored his first goal in three years.

It's a German thing ... Hoff is huge over there.


Aston Villa have drawn more Premiership games than any other club.

The six most recent have come this season and they are the reason why Villa, though only seventh, are the only unbeaten team in the Premiership.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Ince wants Gazza's help to turn round Macclesfield

"Gazza will always be welcome here. If he has any ideas he wants to pass on, I'd welcome them. He has done some coaching before and I'd be interested in hearing his ideas."


Didier Drogba has admitted being in regular contact with French champions Lyon. But Chelsea are willing to offer a £120,000-a-week package that would double his current salary in an attempt to keep him.His contact is the highly influential Bernard Lacombe, special adviser to Lyon chairman Jean-Michel Aulas.

Drogba revealed: "I have kept up very good relations with Bernard Lacombe since they wanted to take me two years ago. "We do talk to each other. We get on well as strikers."


Wayne Rooney turns 21 today, and he thinks he's eventually growing-up ...

“I think I let myself and the other players down but I have learned from it.”

“And if you watch me now, I try to talk to the referee before the game and try and build a relationship with them.”

“Sometimes it doesn’t work but I am trying to keep my head down, work hard and just do what I do best which is playing football.”

“I’m more relaxed and in control now but that was always going to come with age.”

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A West Ham sandwich

Ince confirmed as new Macclesfield manager

Former Manchester United and England midfielder Paul Ince has been appointed player-manager of Macclesfield Town.

He's certainly got some work to do ... they are rock bottom of League Two, with 5 points from 15 games, and without a win so far this season.


Feyenoord coach Erwin Koeman has ordered his players to stay at home.

He has decided to treat his first-team squad like naughty children following their humiliating 4-0 home defeat by arch-rivals Ajax.

Koeman exploded after Sunday’s rout and ordered his team to stay home until Wednesday, when they will start preparing for next weekend’s home match.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Chant of the week

"Robbo, Robbo, give us a goal!"

Aston Villa fans to Spurs keeper Paul Robinson after his air-kick let in the second goal for Croatia against England earlier in the week.


Sylvester Stallone is set to watch a game at Everton after friend Planet Hollywood owner Robert Earl invested in the club.

Earl said: "Sylvester Stallone absolutely loves soccer and I spoke to him about the deal. He said he wants to come."


David Beckham last night warned Real Madrid he will quit if he is left to sit on the bench.

The former England captain is prepared to rip up the two-year contract extension he has been offered by the Spanish giants if manager Fabio Capello continues to leave him out of his team. Becks started as substitute for the sixth time this season against Barcelona today and hinted it is massively affecting his chances of signing a new deal. But the 31-year-old midfielder, who can negotiate a lucrative free transfer away from Spain in January, also said he has no intentions of retiring.

In fact, he only came on for the final 5 minutes against Barca, and this could be the end for him at Real.

Tiny apparatus ??

Italian adult actress Lea di Leo claims to have a 'black book of sex' detailing her exploits with numerous footballers that she could make public. One player is described as having 'tiny apparatus'.


A little out-of-date after this weekend's goal, but still funny.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Rooney's in the money

Wayne Rooney is poised to sign a £40million long-term deal with Manchester United by the turn of the year. Despite the player's disappointing start to the season manager Sir Alex Ferguson has supported Rooney unequivocally and believes he will come good.

I love polls


Chelsea midfielder Michael Essien has revealed his incredible energy comes from his 14 hours of sleep every day. I'm sure that if I earned 100K a week and slept 14 hours a day, I'd feel pretty damn good too.


Bolton's 6ft 9in Chinese import Yang Changpeng had some problems adapting to Western food until he discovered KFC. I hope that he knows that all of that fat is going to stunt his growth.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

More scary mascots

Apparently, these are the mascots for Euro 2008 ... not only do they bear an uncanny resemblence to Woody Woodpecker, but they are also very scary.


Welsh goalkeeper Paul Jones was so excited about making his 50th cap that he decided to make his head look absolutely ridiculous.

If he'd added a dash, and changed the 0 to a 1, he'd have correctly predicted the score, since Wales got thrashed 5-1.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Lady Posh ?

Whispers in Whitehall suggest that former England skipper David Beckham is about to be knighted - which would mean Posh Spice becoming Lady Beckham.

Referees should watch rugby

According to Thierry Henry ...

“I would like the game to become a bit more like rugby, because in football you cannot speak to the referee."

I completely agree, but this would also involve never complaining or swearing to the ref, as in rugby.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

See the world through Rooney's eyes


The 2007 FA Cup Final will be the first played at the new Wembley Stadium, but will it be the last to kick off at 3pm?

The BBC believes that it would attract more viewers at 5pm or 5.30pm for the showpiece game and preserving traditions might not be their first priority.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Another new poll

Rooney motion-capture for EA Sports

Glazers tighten grip

Finance director Nick Humby and commercial boss Andy Anson handed in their notices at Old Trafford today, due to their joint frustration at the way their job specifications have altered since the Americans took charge of the club in May 2005.

The Glazer brothers — Joel, Avie and Bryan — are understood to oversee all the important spending and commercial decisions at United, despite being based in Florida.

New poll

Apparently 70 per cent of England football fans are now craving the return of David Beckham ... or put another way, three per cent more than those who want to see the summary dismissal of the new coach, Steve McClaren.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What McClaren scribbles in his notebook

Team with the longest name

Thai Pro League side Bangkok Bravo ... should they ever wish to refer to themselves by their full (English translated) name, would be called: Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Bravo Association Football Club (196 characters).

Monday, October 16, 2006

How would they tell the difference ?

Some newspapers who cannot recoup their airfares from Steve McClaren's aborted trip to Seattle to learn from their NFL side are considering sending cardboard cut-outs of the England coach to meet Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren instead.

David James

Portsmouth keeper David James is refusing to talk to Sky Sports until 2 December - because that is when he was told by engineers that his home satellite system will be fixed.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

When you gotta go, you gotta go (part 2)

Another non-shaver

Manchester City defender Sun Jihai insists that he will not shave until he returns to the first team.

"I want to keep the beard until I play my first game," he told Sky Sports. "I don't think it's good for me. After I play the first game I will cut it off, and my hair as well to make me more handsome!"


Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko has met up with AC Milan psychologist Bruno De Michelis in a bid to end his goalscoring drought.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

What if every team were level ?

What would happen if every game in the Premiership finished 0-0 ?
If every club decided to 'park the bus' throughout the Premiership's fixtures and somehow keep them all goalless, Rule B31 would come in to play. According to the FA Premier League, it goes a little like this:

"If at the end of the season either the league champions or the clubs to be relegated or the question of qualification for other competitions cannot be determined because two or more clubs are equal on points, goal difference and goals scored, the clubs concerned shall play off one or more decided league matches on neutral grounds, the format, timing and venue of which shall be determined by the board."

Yang Changpeng

Bolton Wanderers have taken 6ft 9in Chinese striker Yang Changpeng on trial at the Reebok Stadium ... finally, someone for Peter Crouch to look up to.

Friday, October 13, 2006


Do you think that it's merely coincidence that Borat is watching in the background of the last picture ?



More interesting results from the Sun

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Flash Barton


Crystal Palace fans will wear orange at Saturday's home match against Cardiff to show their appreciation for perma-tanned chairman Simon Jordan, who has purchased the club's Selhurst Park ground.

Teddy Sheringham's girlfriend

As you know, we never miss an opportunity to post a picture of a good-looking woman.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Croatia v England

England 11/8
Draw 2/1
Croatia 7/4

Beckham's reaction to the final whistle against Macedonia

Faroe Islands

Faroes striker Christian Jacobsen: "We came within a few minutes of getting a draw with Lithuania only to give a goal away in the last few seconds. We took encouragment from that and it won't be easy for France to get a goal."

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Italy defender Marco Materazzi will publish a joke book linked to the infamous headbutting incident with Zinedine Zidane in the World Cup final against France. It is called "What I really said to Zidane" and consists of 249 phrases he might have said to the Frenchman.

Gazza on Wazza

Gazza talking about Wazza on the weekend ...

"When he came off on Saturday, he sprinted over towards the bench and I'd have liked to have been there to throw my arms around him. I felt heartbroken for the lad."


Monday, October 09, 2006

Bearded World Cup winners

Apparently, there's only ever been one World Cup winner to sport a full beard - Sergio Batista of Argentina in the 1986 contest .... unless you can think of any others.


Wayne Rooney took his drought in front of goal to 7 hours and 33 minutes after he failed to score in England's dull goalless draw with Macedonia.

Sunday, October 08, 2006


Wigan striker Emile Heskey is still hoping for an England recall - over two years since he was last selected. (Sunday Express)

He's already proven that he can't hit a barn door - we already have a couple of those types of players in the England team.


Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson, who is one of a select band of bosses allowed to coach in the Premiership without a Uefa pro-licence because he has over 10 years as a manager behind him, will have to enrol in a year-long course for the qualification - if he wants to carry on beyond 2010. Sheffield United's Neil Warnock and Dave Bassett and Joe Royle also currently have honorary diplomas.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Stamford Bridge

Chelsea are dumping sand on the Stamford Bridge pitch two weeks before the Champions League game against Barcelona. They were accused of deliberately allowing their sandy, pot-holed surface to deteriorate before last season’s game at Stamford Bridge. They should use some of Abramovich's cash to buy a couple of bags of grass seed.

Newcastle get tougher over Owen compensation

Michael Owen's injury - sustained while playing for England - could cost the FA £20m.The FA's insurers will apparently pay half of Owen's £103,000 weekly wages for a year, but Newcastle also want to factor in other issues such as the impact on the team of his absence.


Police and the Scottish Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals are "on standby" in case French football fans release a rooster before the game at Hampden on Saturday.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Barthez announces retirement

When you gotta go, you gotta go

Weekend Betting

England v Macedonia

England 1/10
Draw 8/1
Macedonia 33/1

Thursday, October 05, 2006

No. 110

Rene Makondele of Swedish club Gefle wore No. 110 during the 2005 season, presumably to signify the percentage effort that he gives for the cause each game.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Some Gazza stories

1) One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.

2) When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse: "Church Of England."

3) On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

4) On first meeting with Lazio's president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Bud Abbot.

5) Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with film of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing 'F***ing W***ker'. The BBC had to use it all the way through the tournament.

6) Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

7) Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. F**k off Norway." Then ran off laughing.

8) Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his sock.

9) When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined £39,000.

10) Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.

11) After paying for ex-wife Sheryl's breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to 'Dolly Parton'.

12) Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver said yes, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza's impromptu performance.

13) Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

14) Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.

15) Has taken the piss out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.

16) Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.

17) While attempting to deflect the 'kebab controversy' which spelled the beginning of the end of his England career, assured reporters that his doner-munching antics following Middlesbrough's promotion to the Premiership would in no way affect his fitness before France 98. One reporter asked: "What do you feel like now?" Back came the inevitable response: "I feel like a kebab with onions."

18) As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.

19) As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the Newcastle Underground.

20) When playing for England against Belgium in Italia 90, ridiculed Enzo Scifo as he lay on the ground clutching his leg. Gazza thought he was play-acting, so did a mime of his own which involved hopping on one leg with his tongue lolling out.

21) His attempt to jet off to Libya with Middlesbrough for a post-season tour was hampered by the fact he'd left his passport at home. An emotional Gazza wept at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to bring it to the airport.

22) Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic boobs and stomach bearing the legend 'Gazza'.

23) On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.

24) Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.

25) Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen wearing nothing but his training socks and ordered lunch.

26) Paid £320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.

27) Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.

28) Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

29) Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused £310,000 worth of damage.

30) While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping team-mate Richard Gough.

31) Handed £1000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn't withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds. Jimmy could. Twice.

32) After briefly giving up drinking, was advised to find a new interest. Picked bingo.

33) Bought a £1000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza Towers and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."

34) Stuck his tongue out when the TV cameras panned past him during the national anthem at Italia 90.

35) Prepared for England matches during that hugely important tournament by playing marathon games of tennis in the scorching midday sun.

36) Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the 1991 FA Cup Final.

37) In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for 'photo opportunities'.

38) While his Italia 90 team-mate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barbers and demanded "a Waddle cut".

39) When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, "We'd like to thank you for the best three days of our lives."

40) Asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London after guests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.

41) On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

42) Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you f***ing w***ers".

43) Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.

44) Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn't ever bear to see the numbers 4 and 9 together. Oddly, the combination of 5 and 8 was deemed OK.

45) Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh".

46) While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.

47) While reputation preceded him in Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: 'Gazza's Boys, We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer'.

48) Conversely, rival Italian supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: 'Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta'.

49) After being sent off while playing for Lazio, shook hands with virtually every member of the Genoa side.

50) While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"

Lehmann to auction Argentina penalty note

Jens Lehmann is to auction a crumpled note on the penalty habits of Argentina's players that he stuffed in his sock at the World Cup.

In translation it reads:

1. Riquelme left high
2. Crespo long run/right, short run/left
3. Heinze left low
4. Ayala long wait, long run right
5. Messi left
6. Aimar long wait left
7. Rodriguez left

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Having decided that he plays better when he hasn't shaved, Wayne Rooney will continue to grow a beard until he finds the net again, Manchester United sources confirmed.

Adams joins calls to stamp out diving

I don't like the idea of video replays, they would slow the game down too much, but surely the idea of viewing the incidents after the game and handing out fines or bans for diving can't be that difficult - they do it already for cards and violent conduct.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Betting coup

Gamblers around the world landed collective winnings estimated at £1.5m on Saturday after the biggest football betting coup in years, involving around £3m wagered on a minor Scottish match. Forfar, who were scheduled to play Peterhead, were facing an acute injury crisis that left them with only eight match-fit players, two of them goalkeepers, and had asked for the game to be postponed.

On the Betfair exchange alone, £405,000 was traded on the game, with £398,000 of that on Peterhead.

Peterhead won 8-0 and, to compound Forfar's misery, they had two players sent off.


Spurs boss Martin Jol : “Zokora was off balance. I don’t think he did it on purpose.”

fantasysportnet boss Fred : "That's total bollocks. It was a blatant dive."

Sunday, October 01, 2006


"It's difficult to tell a seven-year-old, 'This is the Premiership, and I'm known as Psycho'" - Stuart Pearce explains why a cuddly toy horse called Beanie was positioned just in front of the Manchester City dugout for the match with West Ham.

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