Thursday, November 30, 2006


The latest talent to emerge from South America is 18-year-old Kerlon, whose unique party piece is causing a rather violent reaction from frustrated defenders.

Kerlon's trick has been dubbed the 'seal dribble' and is proving almost impossible to halt.

With a game in full flow, the youngster is able to flick the ball into the air, before continuing his run while bouncing the ball on his forehead.

In most cases, defenders have just one answer — if you can't kick the ball, kick the player instead.

Kerlon was the leading scorer as Brazil won last season's South American Under-17 Championship and he was also voted player of the tournament. He plays his club football for Cruzeiro in Brazil but is being tipped as the next big export


A study has revealed that the average energy output of a professional player over a season could power a house for 10 days.

Dr David James, from Sheffield Hallam University, was asked to produce a figure by the E.ON Energy Experience initiative. He looked at a player’s oxygen uptake and the ratio of low to high intensity work.

Players make more than 1,000 changes in activity over 90 minutes — altering their speed of movement every four to six seconds — and they cover ten to 12 kilometres, sprinting more than 2km.

He concluded that players produce 6,700 kilojoules, which equates to 1.86 kilowatt hours. If it were possible to convert that energy into electricity, over a full game, a player could light an average house for 90 minutes, run a television for 6½ hours and boil enough water for the squad to enjoy a half-time cuppa.


Neil Warnock was left fuming at the behaviour of the Watford ball-boys. The Sheffield United boss said: “Watford were a disgrace with the way their ball-boys gave their players a towel to dry the ball.

“They just sat on them whenever we had throw-ins. "We complained to the fourth official at half-time and nothing happened so we brought out our own. It was a joke.”

Danny Webber netted the Blades’ late winner and Warnock added: “We could have thrown the towel in — but the team effort was magnificent.”


West Ham's Argentina striker Carlos Tevez will be punished for storming out of Upton Park after being substituted on Saturday by being forced to wear a Brazil kit in training next week.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


David James says his new side-parting haircut, which cost £250, might be shaved off.

"I went to a lady in Exeter who did a great job but after seeing it over the weekend I might shave it off."

Adieu Adu ?

The United States-based coach who helped Freddy Adu become one of the hottest prospects in world football has warned him to avoid Manchester United and look for a team in the Netherlands. Adu is on trial with Sir Alex Ferguson's team but his coach at DC United said he had gone there on bad advice and told the Ghana-born 17-year-old that the Premiership would overwhelm him."

He's a young kid and he needs matches," said Peter Nowak, the former Poland captain who has been Adu's manager since he signed for the Washington club as a 14-year-old sensation in November 2003. "I think he should go to PSV or Ajax or somewhere they have a tradition of raising young players. At a place like Ajax the young kids come through together and they grow up together; the team is shaped around them. In the biggest environment at the club with the biggest budget it will be hard for them to wait for him to develop. I still feel he needs the minutes and the experience."

Dave Kasper, DC United's technical director agrees : "Does Freddy want to have to go to Watford on a rainy Wednesday where he'll have 6ft 4in goons on his back all night? The Dutch league is a very technical league and he will be better suited for that at his age."

Kasper and Nowak also cast doubts on Adu's mental and physical readiness for a team as big as United. Not only is he just 17, he is physically slight and, they maintain, susceptible to poor advice.


Newcastle breathed a huge sigh of relief yesterday on finding Kieron Dyer’s latest injury does not mean a long spell on the sidelines. The jinxed midfielder sustained a gruesome wound to his left thigh following a sickening clash with advertising hoardings at St James’ Park.

Dyer, 27, said: “I knew the barrier was coming up and I caught it at the wrong angle. I slit my leg open but it was never going to keep me off the pitch.

“There was no need for stitches, it’s just a really deep cut. I needed it cleaned up and a piece of skin removed, so, hopefully, it will clear up.”

God bless her

"Football's a difficult business and aren't they prima donnas?"

The Queen gives her verdict on the beautiful game to Premier League chairman Sir David Richards.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Liverpool and Wales striker Craig Bellamy accused police of being jealous of his fame when they tried to question him about an alleged assault in a nightclub.

Bellamy, 27, is on trial at Cardiff magistrates' court for the assault of two women - Sophie Palmer and Holly Smith - at the city's No 10 night club on February 4. He denies the charges.

PC Jason Webb told the court he was called to the scene at about 3am and asked Bellamy to get into a police van to minimise his embarrassment while he was questioned. "I would say he was quite intoxicated. His eyes were glazed and his speech was all right but it was the manner he spoke to me which gave me greatest concern," said PC Webb. "It was along the lines of 'you're fucking jealous of me because of my fame'. In my opinion, he had no reason to say that."He said that when he asked Bellamy to calm down, he did for a time but then began swearing again. John Charles Rees, defending Bellamy, asked the police officer if his client had been upset because people were trying to take photographs of him while he was in the van. PC Webb said he had not seen anyone trying to take photographs.

The nightclub's owner told the court he had to ask one of the alleged victims to leave the VIP area twice that evening before she complained about being assaulted. Giovanni Malacrino told the court that the first time he asked Miss Palmer to leave, she was giggling and spoke about her new breast implants.


Bayern Munich chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has accused Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich of stifling the competitiveness of European football.

Rummenigge blames the Russian billionaire's spending on players and sky-high television rights deals for opening up a gap, even among Europe's top clubs. And, in a separate attack, he opened up a split in the ranks of the G14 group of elite clubs by branding the English, Italian and Spanish members as 'selfish'.

Rummenigge, whose side lost Michael Ballack to Chelsea this year, told Kicker magazine: 'I doubt whether in the next 10 years there will be a German club in the final of a European competition. 'Given what Abramovich does every summer in the transfer market, how can German clubs stay competitive? 'If Bremen get past Barcelona in the Champions League, that would be the eighth wonder of the world.

Spanish injuries

Spanish football has been hit by an epidemic of injuries that has put a string of key players out of action for up to six months. A high proportion are knee injuries, in particular damage to the cruciate ligament. Of the 44 serious injuries suffered in La Liga this season, 20 have to do with the knee, 14 of them cruciate ligaments.

Theories are many, with people blaming the pitches, boots, studs, inadequate warm-ups and what players do in their spare time. Manuel Pellegrini, the Villarreal coach, said: “These knee injuries are very worrying. This just isn’t normal and it’s time we all sat down together and tried to figure out what’s going on.”

Genaro Borras, who heads the Spain medical team, believes that there are three key factors. “We don’t pay enough attention to minor injuries that then trigger more serious ones, the sheer number of fixtures and the reluctance of referees to punish strong tackles,” he said. Guillén attributes the rise of knee injuries to shortcomings in training. “They’ve got too much muscle,” he said. While it is possible to build up muscles, the ligaments do not get any stronger, creating an imbalance. “I’m experimenting with an elastic knee bandage and a series of preventative exercises in the hope of ending the epidemic of this type of injury.”


Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson and Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho shared a £200 bottle of wine after Sunday's game.

Monday, November 27, 2006


Harry Kewell's wife, Sheree Murphy, is fronting a new glossy women's lifestyle magazine aimed at fellow footballers' wives and other rich folk

Dream goal

Ronaldinho said that he fulfilled a childhood dream by wrapping up Barcelona's 4-0 win over Villarreal on Saturday with his spectacular overhead kick three minutes from time.

Lurking in the Villarreal area, the Brazilian controlled a lofted pass from Xavi with his chest, swivelled round with his back to goal and then fired a stunning bicycle kick over the head of keeper Mariano Barbosa and high into the net. 'I didn't really think too much about it because it just happened on the spur of the moment,' said the 26-year-old who had scored Barca's opener from the penalty spot.

'When I controlled the ball it stood up just right and everything else worked out perfectly. 'Ever since I was a young boy I've dreamed of scoring a goal like that. 'I'm never going to forget this goal. Now I have to try for my other dream goal which is to score from the halfway line.'


West Ham are to open talks about moving into London's Olympic Stadium after the Games finish in 2012. Eggert Magnusson, who took control of the Hammers in an £85m deal this week, will meet the government and Olympic authorities to discuss the switch.

Magnusson is keen for the move to happen : "It is my dream. "We bought West Ham where we are now - the Boleyn Ground - but looking at the future this is where we want to go."

Magnusson is prepared to accept a deal that would keep a running track at the stadium and see athletics and football staged there.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


Cristiano Ronaldo will take Manchester United’s penalties following Louis Saha’s flop at Celtic on Tuesday.

The French striker missed an 89th-minute spot-kick that would have fired United into the next stage of the Champions League.

Boss Alex Ferguson refused to say if Saha would step up if United were awarded a penalty against Chelsea tomorrow.

The winger showed his nerve when he converted the final spot-kick for Portugal to knock England out of the World Cup this summer.

Ferguson yesterday poured scorn on Celtic midfielder Neil Lennon’s claims that United right-back Gary Neville predicted Saha’s miss.

Fergie scoffed: “I think they got a bit excited after the game.”

But it is clear Saha cannot be risked so soon after his dramatic miss at Parkhead.

On Sunday, United owners the Glazers will make their first Old Trafford appearance this season.
Malcolm Glazer’s three sons Avi, Joel and Brian are due to attend.


For a man who was once told he could not play football again Kanu is not doing badly. In fact not too much has changed since he awoke from a four-and-half-hour operation to cure a faulty aortic valve and discovered that he had been voted African Footballer of the Year. This weekend is the 10th anniversary of that life-saving surgery and guess what: he's just been nominated for the African Footballer of the Year award again.

But then Kanu always did have that timeless quality. Many would hazard a guess that the Nigerian is a lot older than the 30 years he admits to, but this season he has looked as sprightly as a first-year pro in making an eight-goal contribution to Portsmouth's cause that was about as unlikely as his new club's third place position in the Premiership table.

His manager at Portsmouth, Harry Redknapp, said: "I couldn't say that I had any backing when I brought him here. Everybody sort of said: 'He's finished', but I had a feeling he could still do it. He can do things that other people can't. If you're not going to be a championship-winning team at least we can entertain and bring in some players that the fans will enjoy watching play. That's important – it is for me. It's what keeps me going."


Death threats, a verbal battering from Jose Mourinho, and criticism from Neil Warnock.

While Stephen Hunt remains deeply upset over Petr Cech’s injury sustained in their “freak accident”, the Reading midfielder is taking everything else thrown at him with a large pinch of salt.

Hunt also admits he started pulling out of tackles following the Chelsea match and was subsequently dropped.

He said: “This was the opportunity to show I can play at this level. I was completely focused. I was ready to go. When it happened — and I stress it was a freak accident — I didn’t realise I had hurt him.

“I looked over my shoulder and there were so many people around him. I didn’t know what to do.

“I could hear their bench — Mourinho in particular — shouting at me. But I could not afford to listen to him. I had my own agenda. I had to get on with the game.

“To be fair to Chelsea’s players, they did not say anything. Mourinho though, straight away, was saying I had gone in there deliberately. That’s up to him. That’s how he felt.
“But I could not afford to go into my shell and even though we lost 1-0, that was probably my best game.

“It was not until the Sunday when I saw on TV that Petr Cech had fractured his skull. I thought ‘Jesus, what do I do?’.


Sir Alex Ferguson struggled to conceal his disdain when he was asked yesterday about Peter Kenyon's prediction that Chelsea would eventually overtake Manchester United as the biggest club in the world. Ferguson has accused Kenyon before of treating United "with contempt" and he was clearly bemused by the latest remarks of a man who once claimed to be their most ardent supporter.

Questioning the timing of Kenyon's remarks, as if suspicious that the Chelsea chief executive was trying to undermine United before the biggest game of the domestic season so far, Ferguson's response was laced with sarcasm. "We're going to quake and tremble with that," he said. "It was a nice time for him to bring that out, wasn't it? But it certainly won't bother me. I know Peter, remember."


Fulham defender Liam Rosenior has revealed that unlike most other 22-year-old Premiership players, he prefers playing Scrabble and drinking cocoa to a night out clubbing.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


Blackburn star Morten Gamst Pedersen has called on football chiefs to take action after being hit in the face by a plastic pint glass filled with beer.

It put a dampener on Rovers’ night despite going through to the UEFA Cup knockout stages.

Pedersen said: “I was hit by a plastic cup full of beer and you always worry that next time it could be something much worse. "It’s up to UEFA to do something to stop this sort of thing happening.

“I wasn’t hurt but my eyes and hair were full of beer.” Pedersen also escaped injury when a coin sailed over his head as he ducked to place the ball for a corner.

Team-mate Brett Emerton and boss Mark Hughes also had beer thrown at them by Feyenoord fans. Hughes said: “Morten handled it very well. He came off the pitch stinking of beer.
But he didn’t inflame the situation by making too much of it.”

Foreign investors

Amid growing concern over the ownership of clubs by foreign investors, the Premier League have begun using the services of a secretive corporate intelligence company to check the background of businessmen seeking to buy into the game.

More than three years after Roman Abramovich's acquisition of Chelsea signalled a new era for English football, any new owner is now subject to discreet checks on his financial background and business history.

Eggert Magnusson and his main backer, Landsbanki chairman Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, will become the latest overseas businessmen to be looked into by the Premier League following their successful £108 million takeover of West Ham United earlier this week.

However, with Magnusson well regarded in Uefa's corridors of power and Gudmundsson the head of Iceland's oldest bank, the League are not expecting to unearth any major skeletons.

The new process is part of the fit and proper persons test introduced by the Premier League in the summer.

It is thought Randy Lerner, the new owner of Aston Villa, was the first new investor to undergo the checks after his £62.6 million takeover of the Midlands club in August.

Friday, November 24, 2006


Louis Saha admits he is living a nightmare after his dramatic Euro penalty miss at Parkhead.
Saha’s 89th-minute spot-kick was saved as Celtic won Tuesday’s Battle of Britain encounter 1-0.

The French international was inconsolable at the end of the showdown as Manchester United blew their chance to book a place in the Champions League knockout phase.

And Saha, 28, said: “I can’t believe I missed the penalty.
“It is like a nightmare and I just want to wake up.
“I’ve apologised to my team-mates but then what’s the use of that? A thousand sorrys won’t change anything.
“It will not change the fact that I have missed. I feel really sorry for our fans. And I am sorry for my performance.”

The penalty was given after Shaun Maloney had handled. But, incredibly, Gary Neville predicted the miss.

The United skipper told his Hoops counterpart Neil Lennon before the kick was taken that Saha’s ‘head had gone’.

It is likely United spot-kick duties will now be handed to Wayne Rooney.

Red Devils boss Alex Ferguson was left seething at his flops after the defeat.
And the infamous Ferguson hairdryer was going full pelt.

A Celtic source said: “Everyone in the vicinity of the changing rooms could hear him. He was clearly furious.”


Liverpool striker Craig Bellamy grabbed a young woman by the throat after they bumped into each other at a nightclub, a court heard today.

The Wales international is alleged to have assaulted 19-year-old Sophie Palmer and 20-year-old Holly Smith during a night out in Cardiff city centre during the early hours of February 5 this year.

Prosecutor Mike Hammett told Cardiff magistrates court that the alleged altercation happened as Bellamy was walking in a corridor at the No 10 nightclub at about 2am. Mr Hammett said Bellamy collided with Miss Palmer as she walked in the opposite direction, and "words were exchanged". Bellamy is said to have then grabbed Miss Palmer's friend, Holly Smith, by the wrist and called her a "c*nt".

After the two women made an official complaint to police, Bellamy told officers during an interview that the incident started when he caught the eye of one of the complainants in the nightclub. When she asked him what he was looking at, Bellamy said he replied: "If I was looking at anyone it would be those two behind you because they are far prettier." Bellamy said the girl then slapped him and he made a counter complaint to police.


Torquay United have warned their players they face the sack if they repeatedly try to con the referee.

Chairman Chris Roberts introduced the initiative after he was left "disgusted" by players diving and feigning injury during the World Cup. He said: "It's only getting worse and I sincerely believe clubs have to stand up and take reponsibility for the conduct of their players. "I want to win football matches but I want to win matches without cheating."

The new initiative works on the 'three strikes' system. Players found guilty of clearly trying to gain an advantage by diving or feigning injury will be warned on the first two occasions, then placed on the transfer list or dismissed if they transgress a third time.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


In 1994, Harry Redknapp was assistant manager of West Ham and his side were playing Oxford City in a pre-season friendly when ...

"Lee Chapman was playing for us at the time," recounts Redknapp. "All through the first half some tattooed skinhead behind me was giving Lee terrible stick. At half-time I turned to this bloke who had West Ham etched on his neck and asked 'Can you play as good as you talk?' He looked totally confused. So I told him he was going to get his dream to play for West Ham. We sent him down the tunnel and he reappeared 10 minutes later all done out in the strip. He ran on to the pitch and a journalist from the local Oxford paper sidled up and asked 'Who's that Harry?' I said 'What? Haven't you been watching the World Cup? That's the great Bulgarian Tittyshev!'
The fella wasn't bad - actually, he scored!"

The fella in question was a 27-year-old called Steve Davies who had given up park football six years earlier. The West Ham board were obviously impressed with Harry's idiosyncratic decision-making: they made him manager a month later.


Manchester City manager Stuart Pearce has hit out at the 'arrogant' British attitude which demands instant success from foreign imports. After 12 matches without a goal following his summer move from Valencia, Italian striker Bernardo Corradi finally found the net in Saturday's win over Fulham. The 30-year-old has had plenty of critics since arriving in England, with many City fans openly declaring Pearce had wasted £1million on the former international forward.


As a freeman of the city of Glasgow, Sir Alex Ferguson has the right to exclusive use of a jail cell and the right to hang his washing on Glasgow Green.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


The biggest threat facing soccer is the way in which foreign investors are getting involved who may have no desire to develop the game, according to FIFA president Sepp Blatter.

Blatter said world soccer's governing body needed the help of governments to help police the way in which the investors were becoming attached to European clubs, especially those in England.

'There exists a system in football at the moment that if we don't stop it will do serious damage,' Blatter told a news conference after being made an honorary member of Real Madrid. 'There are investors who buy clubs, especially in England which happens to be the most attractive but not the best league. There are investors from Iran, Russia, the United States, Georgia all involved there.

''There are a number of organisations that are not transparent, many of which are based in the Caribbean, the British Virgin Islands, Gibraltar and the Cayman Islands. It is a very delicate matter and we need the help of the judicial authorities in all countries to deal with it.'


Some of the balls used in Premiership matches may have been stitched by children in their homes, the league's official supplier, Nike, admitted yesterday.

Nike is sacking its main manufacturer of hand-stitched balls, a Pakistani company called Saga Sports, because of concerns about "significant labour compliance violations".

The US multinational said that a six-month investigation had concluded that Saga was outsourcing many of the balls to casual workers who sew them together in their homes around the city of Sialkot, near the Indian border.


Arsenal fans have launched a campaign to boost sales of former cult hero Perry Groves' autobiography so it outsells that of Ashley Cole, who left Arsenal for Chelsea.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Former Manchester United star Peter Schmeichel has been voted off BBC One's reality TV show 'Strictly Come Dancing'. The ex-goalie and his dance partner Erin Boag were eliminated from the show on Saturday night. Six celebrities and their dancing partners, including Carol Smillie, Emma Bunton and Matt Dawson, are left to battle it out in the competition.

Schmeichel, who turned 43 the day of his departure from the show, said that bad things often happen on his birthday. "I have no luck on my birthdays. I once missed World Cup qualification on my birthday. I'm used to it."


Ryan Giggs is one of only five players to play in the Premiership every season since the league was created in 1992-93, and the only one to play all that time for the same club.


Glenn Roeder was hit by taunts from Arsenal fans during Newcastle’s draw at The Emirates.

A small number behind the dugout chanted “Sit down, tumour boy” when the Toon boss got up to shout out instructions from his technical area on Saturday.

The incident echoed what happened when former West Ham boss Roeder returned to Upton Park in September.

Arsenal make it clear in their club programme they will not tolerate any form of foul language or racist chanting and they will take action through the courts if necessary to stamp out unacceptable behaviour.


Fulham defender Moritz Volz prides himself on being different.

For a start, he rides a folding bicycle to home matches and, if that was not enough to mark him out in his chosen profession, the 23-year-old German spends his spare time taking A levels and watching Sunday League football.

Monday, November 20, 2006

"Oh my God, they bit Kenny"

How Brazilian soccer players get their names

Brazil's affinity for nicknames might stem from the country's historically high illiteracy rate. As such, shortened spoken names are typically used more often than longer birth names. In Brazilian society, the use of a first name or nickname is a mark of intimacy. It's also often a class signifier.

Brazil's president, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, is known to all by his nickname, Lula. Clergymen, doctors, and other professionals are frequently known by an informal name. The phone book for the town of Claudio even lists inhabitants by their nicknames rather than their surnames.

Some scholars speculate that the use of single names could have its roots in the slave system. (Slavery was abolished in Brazil in the late 19th century.) When they were documented, slaves would be referred to either by their first name only—say, Joao—or by their first name and country of origin—say, Joao Congo.

When the English introduced soccer to Brazil in the 1800s, Brazilians referred to players in the English manner, by their surnames. But as the sport grew in popularity, nicknaming took over. When the Brazilian national team played its first match in 1914, the squad featured a forward called Formiga, which means "ant" in Portuguese. Players with the same first name often change their moniker to differentiate themselves. In recent decades, there have been several Ronaldos at the national level. One became known as Ronaldao, meaning "big Ronaldo." Another became Ronaldinho, meaning "little Ronaldo." When another Ronaldinho came along in the late 1990s, he was called Ronaldinho Gaucho—that is, "little Ronaldo from Rio Grande do Sul." Eventually, the first Ronaldo left the Brazilian national squad, so Ronaldinho became Ronaldo. Ronaldinho Gaucho became Ronaldinho.


Magnus Hedman is Chelsea's Mr Motivator - he's carving out a career lecturing big businesses on how to succeed.

The former Coventry and Celtic keeper - who has come out of retirement at 33 to answer Chelsea's call following injury to Petr Cech - has addressed a number of high-powered seminars.

But he won't be giving any more pep talks for the time being. "I'm 100 per cent focused on my football now so everything else is put on hold," said the Swede.


Derby boss Billy Davies threatened his club's worst trainer with compulsory attendance at The East Midlands Gay Wedding Show - the venue was Pride Park - if the Rams lost at Coventry last weekend.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


Brazil and Germany are being lined up to play England to give Wembley a flying start as the world's premier football stadium.

The 2007 FA Cup Final is still scheduled to be the first high-profile game at the new £800million arena.

But the FA will soon unveil a glamorous double-header for Steve McClaren's side.

The Premiership season ends on May 13 with the FA Cup Final six days later.

But the FA need to organise two internationals as the England players stay in training for the June 6 Euro 2008 qualifying clash in Estonia.

And I understand FA bosses are prepared to pay top dollar to lure Ronaldinho and the boys from Brazil and Germany.


David Beckham is preparing to let his contract run down at Real Madrid - in the desperate hope of landing a dream free transfer back to Manchester United.

Beckham has told close pals that he's only truly interested in moving to one place if he leaves the Bernabeu next summer - Old Trafford.

The former United favourite, sold for £25million to Madrid by Sir Alex Ferguson after they won their last Premiership title in May 2003, has even intimated he'd take a massive pay-cut to persuade the Reds boss to take him back.

That seems a far-fetched scenario given the acrimonious way their relationship disintegrated after Fergie kicked a boot at Beckham, splitting the midfielder's eye, in the months leading up to his departure.

But, significantly, Beckham recently went out of his way to say there was no rift between him and Ferguson and that the boot incident was an accident.

And the move would certainly appeal to the cost-conscious Glazer family, who now own and run United from their base in Florida and who are more keen than ever to maximise their £850m investment


Roy Keane will be reunited with a key figure next week when his dog Triggs moves up to the Sunderland area with the rest of the family.


Sven Goran Eriksson met Nancy Dell'Olio this week and offered her half a million pounds to get out of his life.

Nancy, 47, has been spotted in Rome on a date with Italian TV star Michele Cucuzza, 53.

Sven's new love is blonde Katarina Huss (pictured), 43. They met at a party in Stockholm just a few days after Portugal defeated England in last summer's World Cup.

Mother-of-three Katarina, who works as a PR executive for Swedish airline SAS, joined Sven, 58, in Tel Aviv, Israel, after he jilted Nancy.


Lomana LuaLua is on the brink of quitting Portsmouth after sick fans said they were glad his son had died. The Pompey ace is distraught at a hate campaign branding him a wife-beater after he was arrested and released without charge following a row with his fiancee.

Now LuaLua, whose life was shattered by the death of six-month son Jesus from pneumonia in January, has had enough.

He said: “I do not mind if people criticise me for my football but people who are supposed to support me have said they are glad my son is dead, and that I am a wife-beater and a playboy.

“I do not deserve that and my family do not deserve that.“It has been the worst year of my life and I cannot wait for it to end.

“I am hurt and confused by what the fans have been saying.

“I read newspapers and internet message boards and a lot of what has been said about me has deeply affected me. It has become personal.

“I love playing for Pompey but when my own supporters have a go at me, maybe it is time to move on and go to somewhere where I will be appreciated.”


David Beckham has sparked a race for his signature after going behind Fabio Capello’s back to attend Tom Cruise’s wedding in Rome. The Real Madrid boss is fuming and that has alerted Blackburn, Bolton, Charlton, Celtic, Inter and AC Milan along with USA clubs LA Galaxy and New York Red Bulls.

Capello confirmed on Friday he did not give the midfield ace permission to leave Madrid ahead of Cruise’s showbiz wedding to actress Katie Holmes tonight.

Club officials later claimed Beckham’s trip had been approved but Capello clearly had no idea and will not take kindly to being exposed.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Greenback FC

Lincoln-based Greenback FC Under-10s have been making youthful waves of their own, by signing a sponsorship deal with Motörhead.

"It was from a bizarre idea one evening. I sent an email off to them and they came back and said it was a great idea. They were totally up for it," explained the team manager Gary Weight, a former roadie.

"I knew Lemmy years ago and for him, I think, the thought of a football team running out with the Motörhead logo made him chuckle a bit."

The team now run out to the Ace of Spades and wear an all-black strip emblazoned with the band's skull logo.

"They play better than I ever have!" laughed Lemmy, who, with the rest of the band, will join the youngsters for a team photograph ahead of their gig in Nottingham this Sunday.


Wembley Stadium's problems brought its operating company to the brink of a collapse that could have dragged the Football Association down with it, the FA's latest accounts reveal. And the FA has warned its shareholders that the risk will not be fully averted until after the 90,000-seat venue is fully operational.

Just how close English football came to disaster is shown by the FA's accounts for the 12 months to last December, which lay bare the precariousness of Wembley National Stadium Limited (WNSL), a wholly owned subsidiary of English football's governing body. So serious was the situation that the auditor Deloitte & Touche refused to sign off the stadium company as a going concern.

More on the Paddy Kenny eyebrow incident ...

Having moved on from Jumping Jacks bar to Ziggy’s Spice House in his home town, one friend claimed to have slept with Kenny’s wife, Karen. When the goalkeeper allegedly responded by breaking a bottle over his rival’s head, the man retaliated by biting off Kenny’s eyebrow. At 3am on Monday, Kenny was taken to Calderdale Royal Hospital and required 12 stitches.


Freddie Ljungberg was left gasping for an ambulance after being struck down ... by a lump of cheese. The Arsenal star made history on Monday as the first star to twice be voted Sweden’s Player of the Year.

But the midfielder, who has an intolerance to the foodstuff, accidentally swallowed some cheese with his meal at a posh Stockholm awards do and was left vomiting into a bin.

He told stunned kitchen staff: “Either I’ll be OK or you’re going to have to call me an ambulance in 40 minutes and take me to hospital.”Luckily, he recovered and travelled with the Sweden squad for their midweek friendly against the Ivory Coast in France.

Friday, November 17, 2006


A rare photo of Sheringham in the 1910 Cup Final


Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock says he has no sympathy for Paddy Kenny after the goalkeeper had his eyebrow bitten off in a fight.

Republic of Ireland keeper Kenny is often the subject of jibes about his weight from rival fans and Warnock joked: "He takes a lot of pressure off me because of the chants he gets during a game. "You asked is he big enough, I think the answer to that would be yes!"

Dunfermline Athletic

Dunfermline Athletic have been fined £10,000 by the SPL after being found guilty of charging Rangers fans more than their own supporters.


Stuart Pearce's technical area has been replaced with artificial grass, after the Manchester City manager wore it out.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

81% possession

According to the BBC last week, Hibs enjoyed 81% of possession in their CIS Cup win over Hearts.


Such is the appetite for football in Mexico that two tournaments are held every season in the Primera División: the clausura (closing) and apertura (opening).

So far, so relatively simple. Things get a bit trickier when it comes to deciding which team gets relegated, though. At the end of the season, the team with the lowest points-per-game-ratio over the last three seasons (six tournaments) gets relegated.

And so, in 2001 Atlante topped their group in the clausura tournament, but due to their poor form over past seasons were staring relegation in the face. Luckily for them, the league introduced a relegation play-off that season, which they won and their survival was ensured.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Having suffered eight withdrawals from his squad to face Holland at the Amsterdam ArenA tomorrow evening, the England head coach did not have enough players to stage an eight-a-side practice match as his players assembled at Arsenal’s training ground in London Colney.

Enter Matthew Connolly, who happened to be on the site to train with Arsenal’s reserves but ended up with three lions on his chest and with the chance to train with Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney et al, albeit as a “ringer”, to use Sunday League parlance.


Manchester United defender Patrice Evra has painted a grim picture of life in England.

"The food is truly catastrophic, and it rains all the time. When there's no training or match, it's a DVD under the quilt to keep warm."

But the Frenchman insists he is happy at Old Trafford. He added: "Each day I thank God to be playing in a club like this."

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Female officials

Mike Newell insists he will not resign in the wake of his outburst against female officials. The FA are looking into Newell's remarks after Luton's 3-2 home defeat by QPR on Saturday.

He blasted lineswoman Amy Rayner and declared women should not be allowed to officiate.

Newell has since apologised for his comments but his remorse may come too late to save his job.
The 41-year-old said: "I want to apologise publicly to Amy Rayner and to anyone else I have offended."
The comments I made were ill-timed and out of order."I wanted to apologise privately before I apologised publicly, but I could not get hold of Amy Rayner."


The prospect of David Beckham moving to the United States to play in Major League Soccer has become more likely following the introduction of a 'designated player' rule.

The MLS board of governors have approved the rule change, which will allow clubs to sign big-name players without breaking the competition's salary cap.

The cap is set at $1.9 million (£1 million) and covers 18 players' wages. However, MLS will now pay up to $400,000 (£209,000) towards the salary of the designated player, with any additional cost becoming the responsibility of the club. Each club will receive one designated player slot, which can be traded between clubs, although no club is allowed to have more than two such players in their squad.

The introduction of the rule means that players of the calibre of Beckham, 31, who is in the final year of his contract at Real Madrid, will now have the opportunity to play in the top tier of club soccer in the United States.

Sir Bobby

Sir Bobby Robson, the grand old man of football, returned to centre stage in Dublin yesterday and declared that it was great to be back.

Although looking frail and walking with a limp, the former England manager retained all of his renowned enthusiasm.

Robson, 73, resumed his job as assistant to Steve Staunton, the Ireland manager, after a four-match absence, during which he underwent brain surgery. He will assist Staunton and Kevin MacDonald, the first-team coach, for the European Championship qualifying match against San Marino at Lansdowne Road on Wednesday evening.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Women officials

Luton boss Mike Newell faces a Football Association charge after saying: "Women have no place in the game."

Newell was unhappy that female assistant referee Amy Rayner awarded a corner rather than a goal-kick during the match against QPR and from it Dexter Blackstock scored the winner in the visitors' 3-2 victory.

"She shouldn'tbe here," said Newell of Rayner, a second year national list assistant referee. "I know it sounds sexist but I am sexist and I'm not going to be anything else. It's a token effort for the politically correct idiots."

Rooney - Moyes rift

Wayne Rooney and David Moyes are at war after the Everton boss sensationally carried out his threat to serve a writ against the Manchester United superstar.

The shock move has infuriated the Rooney camp, who are now prepared to fight the Everton boss in court, rather than surrender a matter of principle.

Moyes is incensed by comments made by Rooney in his autobiogrpahy My Story So Far and last night a source close to the player confirmed: "Wayne was served with the writ, along with the publishers and the author and it looks like it could go all the way.
"Wayne, the publishers and the author totally stand by the book and see no reason why they should be worried.
"It is virtually unprecedented to learn that a manager is taking action against a football player and the decision to serve the writ has not been welcomed by fellow managers. It is something we will fight in court if that's what it comes to."


Injured Brighton goalkeeper Wayne Henderson was arrested and evicted for running on the pitch to celebrate his team-mates' win at Bradford after being mistaken for a fan because he was watching from the stands.

Terry in the money

Chelsea captain John Terry is set to become the highest-paid British player of all time when he finalises a new four-year deal worth £27m with team-mate Frank Lampard also set to be offered a £130,000-a-week deal.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


Chelsea’s French contingent will be banned from team paintball games unless they learn the rules.
Monday’s team-bonding session turned to agony for Frank Lampard after Claude Makelele shot him SIX times from point-blank range.

Lamps was left with bruises when the France midfielder hit him in the back.
Now Makelele and the other French lads could be forced to surrender their weapons — unless they start playing fair.

Lamps said: “You’re not supposed to shoot from less than six yards. But Maka shot me six times from point-blank range and left me with bruises on my back!"

Emirates Stadium

Such was the attention Arsène Wenger paid to plans for Arsenal's Emirates Stadium that he scrapped proposals to build a pillar in the home dressing room because he saw it as a potential barrier to communication.

What the Frenchman needs to remove now are the obstacles holding back his team at their impressive new ground. The deterioration of Arsenal's home results means victory there against Liverpool tomorrow looks important for reasons beyond retaining a realistic title chance.


A planning inspector has ruled that the Southend player Freddy Eastwood can remain in his mobile home.

The striker, 23, was facing eviction from the property in Wickford, Essex, because Basildon Council said it was built on green belt land without planning permission. A council spokesman said yesterday that a planning inspector had ruled that the mobile home could stay where it was until an alternative site was found.

Eastwood, who has Romany roots, scored the goal that knocked Manchester United out of the Carling Cup at Roots Hall on Tuesday.


Freddy Adu is not lacking in self-confidence.

"Sometimes," the 17-year-old Ghanaian-American once said of his performance in training, "I impress even myself."

Later this month, Adu will need to do a lot more than impress himself. According to his fan website, the "American Soccer Phenom" is "set to take the British Premier Soccer League by storm". This is an optimistic reading of a contentious, disputed, evidently problematic offer of a two-week trial at Manchester United.
At the end of it, we will begin to have an idea of where Adu stands in world football. Which is he: one of the most exciting talents to emerge in a generation? Or the over-hyped product of a commercial engine that is increasingly seeking to drive football?
Is he the next Cesc Fabregas? Or is he simply a second Calum Best, who was once put through the trial motions by a reluctant Sir Alex Ferguson simply because of his connections?

Middle names

Wigan winger David Cotterill was given the middle names George Best by his dad - and even got the Manchester United legend to sign his birth certificate.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Shirt burning

A Sunderland pub has been banned from opening during derby matches with rivals Newcastle United FC at the city's Stadium of Light.

The new licensing condition was imposed by council chiefs after a Newcastle United shirt was burned in front of cheering fans at Idols Bar in August.

The police had wanted a ban on opening before all home games, but the council decided a partial ban was appropriate.

The bar owners, J I Entertainment, apologised for the incident.

A spokesman described the shirt-burning as a "moment of exuberance unsanctioned by the company."

Police wanted Idols in the city centre to stay closed during every Sunderland home match for the rest of the season, after what was described as a "dangerous and irresponsible act."

The hearing heard that the shirt was doused in paraffin and burned in the packed bar.

Fire brigade officials told Sunderland's licensing committee that an inspection after the August bank holiday incident found fire extinguishers at the pub did not work.

J I Entertainment said disciplinary action had been taken and experts brought in to deal with fire safety issues.


Major League Soccer officials are working out the financial implications of what they see as a "terrific" chance to lure David Beckham to the United States.

The former England captain's contract at Real Madrid expires at the end of the season, and he will be allowed to speak to other clubs from 1 January if he does not sign a new deal by then.

The Los Angeles Galaxy have confirmed their interest in signing the 31-year-old, whose protracted contract negotiations with Real remain ongoing.
The MLS commissioner, Don Garber, says officials are working out if the league would get a return - in sponsorship and ticket sales - on any potential investment in Beckham.

"We're doing analysis and we should complete that in the next 30 days,"Garber said. "We'd certainly like to see him here. Beckham is a cultural world icon - and if we can get him in this league, people will care and they'll come out and see our games. If we could have him here we think it would be terrific."Garber acknowledges Beckham would serve as a great marketing tool but says the former Manchester United player still has a role to play on the pitch.


As the Football Association announced yesterday that it will investigate allegations that four Premiership managers have had bets on top-flight matches, which is against FA rules, a major bookmaking firm denied the gamblers in question had done anything wrong.

The original allegations were made by a former employee of the Gibraltar-based bookmaker, Victor Chandler, and included a claim that one manager gambled £12m on a variety of sports bets in one year alone, racking up losses of £415,000.

Keane being not-so-nice

Roy Keane has launched an astonishing attack on the cheats, divers and conmen performing in the Premiership.

The Manchester United legend believes things have got so bad that he is relieved he has hung up his boots.And the Irish hardman claims he is now too embarrassed to watch some of the top-flight antics on TV.

Keane being nice

Sunderland manager Roy Keane says he offers referees visiting the Stadium of Light a "cup of tea and a nice sandwich" as a charm offensive.

Friday, November 10, 2006

United ?

Not only did Sheffield United become the last team in the four English divisions to score an away goal at the weekend when they notched at St James' Park, but they also recorded their first ever Premiership away win at a fellow United'. Whether Newcastle can really be described as united at present is another matter, however.


Manchester United have rejected claims that teenage American wonderkid Freddy Adu is to join the club on trial later this month.Reports had suggested the DC United player, who has been touted for superstardom since his early teens, would fulfil a lifetime ambition by joining the Old Trafford club for a fortnight in the hope of securing a permanent contract. However, the Premiership leaders have reacted quickly to dismiss talk of Adu coming to the club, insisting they are not interested in the player.


Sir Alex Ferguson's dressing room rant after Manchester United's Carling Cup defeat to Southend was heard by all the Shrimpers players.


Teddy Sheringham has been told to "act his age" after his bust-up with Cesc Fabregas following West Ham's defeat of Arsenal on Sunday. The warning comes from Fabregas' dad, who at 39 is a year younger than the Hammers striker.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

FA Cup goes flying

Sunderland and QPR met in the old Division Two on May 9 1973, only four days after Sunderland had won the FA Cup, and the Mackems decided to parade the trophy around their ground, then Roker Park.

After the parade, the trophy was placed on a table at the side of the pitch, before Stanley Bowles ... well, let's hear it straight from the horse's mouth: "There were a couple of us who had a bet on who could knock it off the table with the ball first," he recalls. "With the ball at my feet I tear off straight across the park. Everyone on the pitch is just staring at me - and then, bang! The FA Cup goes shooting up in the air."

The whole ground knew that I'd done it on purpose - then the Sunderland fans go ape. They want my balls in their sandwiches. I wound up their fans even more by scoring a couple of goals and in the end there was a pitch invasion. At least I got my tenner, and my picture on News at Ten. And all because I was just having a bit of a laugh."

Beckham back in January ?

David Beckham could be back in the Premiership as early as January after his director of football yesterday admitted for the first time that he is stalling on signing a new contract as he is concerned about his lack of first-team chances at Real Madrid.

Beckham has not started a home game for Real since the opening day of the season and has still not signed a proposed two-year extension to his current deal, which runs out next summer.

With the January transfer window just seven weeks from opening, the club's sporting director, Pedrag Mijatovic, said yesterday: "We want to renew his contract and we have had several meetings with his people. On our part there is no problem, but we have to listen to the player, too."

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Ashley Cole left Arsenal bitterly complaining that his boring team-mates would never join him in living the kind of extravagant lifestyle that his ridiculous wages afforded. He might have thought that joining Chelsea would see the tide of bling continue to roll in, but he's in for a nasty shock this Christmas, as the squad have pledged to spend only £5 on presents for each other.


Sir Alex Ferguson toasted his 20th anniversary at Manchester United with a private gathering of managers, former players and close friends yesterday but as he did so there were revelations that he had considered leaving the club last season. Ferguson confided as much to Sir Bobby Robson in a conversation the former England manager recalls coming shortly after Roy Keane's expulsion and only six months after the Glazer family had taken power.



"When I left Fenerbache I would have liked to join a big club. That has not been possible."

Nicolas Anelka is settling in well at Bolton. There's a surprise.

Table tennis

Southend boss Steve Tilson has challenged Rio Ferdinand to a game of table tennis after the Manchester United player's boast at his qualities in playing the game. Tilson wants to bet a week of his wages against Ferdinand's for charity.

However, I'm betting that Ferdinand's weekly salary is a hell of a lot higher than Tilson's.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


"I once rang him up and was on for 10 minutes about players and he told me about every player, their strengths and their weaknesses. I put the phone down and I said 'I bet he even knows the Dunfermline groundsman' so I rang him back and said 'Hey Alex, I forgot to ask you about the Dunfermline groundsman' and, by God, he did know his name and where he came from!"

Sheffield United's Neil Warnock talking about
Sir Alex Ferguson

Beckham to L.A. ?

The Los Angeles Galaxy have confirmed they are interested in signing David Beckham if the former England captain fails to renew his Real Madrid deal.

Out of contract in Spain at the end of the season and no longer a first-team regular, the 31-year-old midfielder is believed to be considering a move.

"There are thousands of clubs out there that would love to have a player of his calibre," said Galaxy boss Alexi Lalas.

Beckham has already expressed an interest in moving to the U.S. when he was interviewed in April :

"I want to be part of a country that is passionate about sport. And I've got my academy in LA, which is important to me because that is my life after the game."

Of course this means that he's really in trouble now

Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd says he is "right behind" under-fire manager Glenn Roeder and is backing him to lead the club to Premiership safety.

Shepherd met Roeder and the players on Monday to discuss the club's slump to second bottom of the Premiership.


Wayne Rooney reckons he would have been a builder or on the dole if it was not for football.

The Manchester United and England star admitted: “I’d probably be unemployed although a lot of my mates from school are builders so maybe something like that.

“It’s difficult for me to say though. I love football — it’s all I’ve ever done.”

Monday, November 06, 2006


Chelsea are in danger of disciplinary action after a rancorous afternoon in the Barclays Premiership.

It is understood that in his official submission to the FA, Graham Poll, the referee, has reported that he was harassed by four Chelsea players after booking Michael Ballack for dissent during the champions’ 2-1 defeat by Tottenham Hotspur, a stormy match in which John Terry, the Chelsea and England captain, was sent off.

Chelsea have been fined sums ranging from £10,000 to £15,000 for failing to control their players three times in the past two seasons, but could face a far larger penalty if found guilty of intimidating behaviour. FA regulations state that when a match official reports that he was harassed or intimidated by three or more players, a club can be fined up to £250,000.


Arsene Wenger is likely to be hauled before the FA after a disgraceful touchline bust-up with Alan Pardew.
When the West Ham boss celebrated Marlon Harewood's late winner in front of the Arsenal bench, Wenger responded by repeatedly shoving Pardew in the chest and allegedly said: "F***ing disgrace".
The angry Arsenal manager appeared ready to exchange blows with Pardew before they were separated by their staff and fourth official Andy D'Urso.
Players picked up on the bad atmosphere, too, and as they went off at the end, Arsenal goalkeper Jens Lehmann squirted water into Teddy Sheringham's face and mocked the West Ham striker by slapping him on the back several times. Then Hayden Mullins squirted water down Cesc Fabregas's back.


Ex-Manchester United star Paul McGrath has nothing but praise for the man who kicked him out of Old Trafford.
McGrath and Sir Alex Ferguson had a fractious relationship during three years together at the club, but have since become friends.
On his arrival at United in 1986, Ferguson was determined to rid the club of its drinking culture.
McGrath was one of the biggest drinkers and, after numerous run-ins, Ferguson sold the defender to Aston Villa.
"Since I left football he's been nothing but generous to me. He showed a big heart when he didn't need to.
"For example, he invited me and my wife to his testimonial dinner in London a few years ago and sat us on the table next to him."

Bung inquiry

Newcastle United and Bolton Wanderers will this week attempt to lead a revolt of Premier League clubs fed up with the Lord Stevens bung inquiry.

They will press Scudamore and their fellow Premier League chairmen to take steps to end what they regard as the damaging speculation and innuendo surrounding the Stevens probe into transfer dealings over the past two years.

Bolton and Newcastle are among those clubs asked to co-operate further with the inquiry, being carried out by Stevens’ company, Quest.


Liverpool's Craig Bellamy says the life of a Premiership striker is boring. "I go home and just laze about, doing hardly anything. It's quite a boring existence."

Sunday, November 05, 2006


It is a "sacrifice" that will see Newcastle rake in roughly £8,000-an-hour for the duration of their discomfort, but the true cost of their self-imposed fixture pile-up might only become apparent next May.

The £350,000 - enough to fund Michael Owen's rehabilitation for the best part of a month - that finds its way into the club's coffers from Sky TV for live coverage of this evening's Premiership visit of Sheffield United is the plus point.

A 43-and-a-half-hour turnaround following the Uefa Cup victory over Palermo is the considerable downside, as Newcastle approach the second of four games in 10 days.


Adrenalin junkie Paul Scharner has to be content with helping Wigan climb the Premiership — after the club banned him from parachuting and bungee-jumping.

The Austrian daredevil gets his kicks diving out of planes and throwing himself off bridges tied to elastic.

But he is under orders from Latics boss Paul Jewell to keep his feet firmly on the ground.

Scharner, 26, plans to return to his love of extreme sports when he hangs up his boots.
But he said: “Playing for Wigan is how I get my thrills now. It’s in my contract to be careful and I had to spend all summer on the beach.


Alex Ferguson has revealed he once feared for his life at the hands of Manchester United legend Peter Schmeichel.

The Old Trafford boss, who celebrates 20 years in charge this weekend, admitted: “I had a bust-up with Schmikes once.

"He was towering over me and we’re eye to eye. I’m looking up and thinking ‘If he hits me, I know I’m dead’. The other players were almost covering their eyes.”

Dinner ladies

Newcastle midfielder Nicky Butt says relegation could be disastrous for the club's dinner ladies as backroom staff could be axed to save money.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


David Beckham’s Real Madrid troubles deepened last night after he was fined for arriving 10 minutes late for training.
Becks got a sarcastic round of applause from team-mates when he ran from the changing rooms.
The night before the former England captain was spotted chatting to tennis ace Maria Sharapova at the Bernabeu after Real’s 1-0 win over Steaua Bucharest.
This latest blunder was the second time Becks, 31, has failed to turn up on time this season.
The midfielder missed an entire team session on August 16 because a flight from England was delayed — and boss Fabio Capello is not happy.

World Cup bid

The Government have been warned that their bid to stage the World Cup in England in 2018 must not be pitched as a British tournament.
Sports Minister Richard Caborn said yesterday that it was Chancellor Gordon Brown's hope that a successful bid would result in matches taking place "all over the country, which would bring Scotland, Wales and the whole of England into play."
A spokesman for Caborn later stressed that the Minister did not mean matches would be played in Wales or Scotland, and David Will, the Fifa vice-president who represents the four British nations on the world body, said:

" If England win the right to stage the 2018 Cup, it would be impossible for matches to be played in Scotland and Wales. As far as Fifa is concerned Scotland and Wales are, in footballing terms, as much a foreign country as England and France are."

Friday, November 03, 2006

Longest-distance fixture in European competition history

The quarter-final draw in 1967-68 pitted Cardiff City against Torpedo Moscow, however, because of the freezing temperatures in Moscow, the away leg was played in Tashkent, now the capital of Uzebekistan, near the Chinese border - a distance of 5,438km.


Aston Villa's chairman, Randy Lerner, has come up with a novel way to solve the problem of falling attendances in the Premiership by paying for 6,000 supporters to travel to Stamford Bridge next week.

The US billionaire was so impressed with Villa's support at Leicester last week that he has pledged to cover the cost of the coach fare to west London for all the fans with tickets for the fourth-round Carling Cup tie against Chelsea on Wednesday.

Grass stains

Aggie MacKenzie, from television programme 'How Clean Is Your House?', has some words of advice for Jose Mourinho after he slid across the Nou Camp turf in his suit to celebrate Drogba's goal.

"Grass stains are really hard. You need a biological washing powder that contains enzymes that will break down the proteins in grass stains."

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